Spatula Theology

I have so much appreciation when the Almighty speaks in the small mundane tasks of life; profound lessons in unlikely places.

Having so many little ones in the house, the wife and I often pivot to making eggs in the morning. After one of these meals, I was doing my usual task of spending half of the day trying to scrub the eggs off of the plastic spatula?! Can anyone relate?!

Yet, that day, I had the comical, yet what I found to be also profound, thought – oh how I wish I could stick to Christ like eggs stick to these spatulas! Mundane task; the Gospel speaks!

When the rough brush of life is grinding away at me, how well am I holding fast to the truth of His Kingdom? Or, am I easily slipping off seeking comfort or peace in ways that are not of His Kingdom? This remains a good reflection for us to consider.

Dear sister, dear brother, how are you holding fast to the King?

May we all continue to grow stronger in His image and strength day by day.

13 The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for 
this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every 
secret thing, whether good or evil.”

Ecclesiastes 12.13-14; ESV
Published in: on 7 PM-05:00Fri, 15 Dec 2023 15:10:43 -050010Friday 2016 at 3:10 pm  Comments (2)  
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Termination of Our OB/GYN’s Paycheck!

… … this is probably going to be offensive … … 

 

 




 

I am furious!!!

 

 

Let me tell you why I am so fired up … I was watching videos on YouTube – I know, this is the BEST and MOST PRODUCTIVE way to spend one’s day – on the topic of abortion. The arguments revolving this topic are quite interesting at times. I was hoping they would be full of robust conversation and well articulated argumentation. What I found … here’s how they often go …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Very productive … 
Yes, it’s a mess. But, I did hear something that was fairly profound that opened my world up! So, according to these famous social media geniuses that are completely well rounded in knowledge from all areas of study AND have thought this topic through thoroughly, it is an absolute FACT, that babies – oops, I slipped – fetuses are almost not even human, some of the time!

 

These people convinced me that it may be possible and could be the case that it is a high probability that in some cases it is an undeniable scientific FACT that a fetus is a parasite to a woman’s body across the board in all situations – unless the women is fond of it, I think.

 

 

This made sense. They’re eating off of the woman’s body and such.

That’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks and – after regaining my consciousness – ensued fury!

 

 

My wife and I have three kids. They were all wonderful experiences. However, one of not so wonderful things I remember throughout each process is going to the OB/GYN – a lot! The closer we got to the delivery date, the closer we got with the Doc! One of the things they did – and I mean RIGHT from the beginning – were wellness checks on the “baby.” They also checked on my wife, which, of course, was great. However, HALF of the appointments was doing a wellness check on a parasite! AND, I GOT CHARGED FOR THIS, A LOT OF MONEY! I am floored! I am thinking about going back to these OB/GYNs and suing for some of that money back. It’s the American way after all! What kind of doctor charges you to do a wellness checkup on a parasite for God’s sake! They were faking the whole time! Almost like abortionists pretending to be doctors… hmm, no, not that bad!

 

 


~

Well, although I thought about suing, after thinking about it awhile and calming down some, I am just going to take the loss! It’s not the first time I have been lied to after all. Anyway, I am glad to report that my kids are humans now, at-least the semi-semblance of what a human is supposed to be. Although, they still act like parasites as much as they drain my pockets and cupboards, however, we found they do have all the parts of a human, e.g., a spine. So, we’ll stick with them being human for today!

Well, thank you for listening to my ranting. I feel better now. Sorry if I was offensive, I just had to spew that out. I am grateful for these social media intellectuals for expanding my horizon, although it initially lead to being upset at some good physicians! But, I am calm now and more intellectually robust at the end of it! Take care!

 

 




 

P.S. – Definitions

Okay, so I know that our culture doesn’t really believe in the proper use of definitions these days – especially from one particular political bend – but, they really are important. Let’s have a look at what the medical community concludes (although this is probably void since they do not represent the entirety of the scientific community…):

 

From Medical Dictionary Online

Fetus:

The unborn young of a viviparous mammal, in the post embryonic period, after the major structures have been outlined. In humans, the unborn young from the end of the eighth week after CONCEPTION until BIRTH, as distinguished from the earlier EMBRYO, MAMMALIAN.

 

Parasite:

Invertebrate organisms that live on or in another organism (the host), and benefit at the expense of the other. Traditionally excluded from definition of parasites are pathogenic BACTERIA; FUNGI; VIRUSES; and PLANTS; though they may live parasitically.

And, from Merriam-Webster

Fetus:

an unborn or unhatched vertebrate especially after attaining the basic structural plan of its kind
specifically a developing human from usually two months after conception to birth

 

Parasite:

an organism living in, with, or on another organism in parasitism

 

 

Published in: on 7 PM-04:00Wed, 29 May 2019 21:15:10 -040015Wednesday 2016 at 9:15 pm  Comments (7)  
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Coffee & Religion

wake up smell the coffee wall decoratio

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Up before sun up; the Son stirs me. Drop to my knees, “I thank you, oh living and eternal King.” I get dressed, grab a bar and my bag then shuffle along to the car. My back is twisted up in pain; groaning – like Gandhi’s belly or Luther’s hairline – I digress as I attempt to recline in the van. I set forth with my plan.

Wheels in motion heading for the local Goshen, land flowing with breve and honey to go along with the dark brew. Confucion I’m not feeling, but certainly stiff and groggy, almost weak – like Samson’s fresh fade.

man wearing black shirt cap and gloves

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I arrive, into the coffee shop I fade from the darkness of the world. I just want a cup of Jo-nah, I’ll probably take two; like Law & Grace! I order my grande soul revival – dark roast with honey and breve – in a mug. “Certainly” replies the gracious host, as I lug myself to my seat. Bible and journal appear. Grab my bar; ready to feed body and soul.

04031906261692444180.jpg

Photo by Joshua Curtis

Ready for that first sip; that creamy brown drip! Yearning for the freedom to flow, parting these lips of red. As the clock moves, ticks ‘n tocks, thickens the plot. Who is this gentil(e) barista?! Name tag? Oh, Zacch. Interesting spelling but this brother is coming up short! Is he denying my goodness? Perhaps plotting my destruction?! I speak. “Ha-man, is that dark roast hanging out back there?” “I’m so sorry! The orders were Mor-de-cai could handle! Momentarily.” Like a rasta, I felt his dread, but my attitude was past those young elders. Heat of frustration like a welder began to rise, but this I did realize. Although ready to start knocking with a heavy hand or maybe begin throwing around some stones of righteousness in this mermaid temple … I gave advantage to the sparks between the temples.

Chill Joshua, find your nirvana. NO! Wait, that’s that confucion talking again. That’s like karma, it doesn’t mean what you think it means – Westerner! What do I need? Oh, yes, Shalom, in the deepest! Not feeling sheepish, but I relax, reminding myself it will come hin-du time. Indeed, it shall come to pass and will arrive sunni…

At last, it arrives as across the counter the mug makes a smooth slide, like the Master into the upper room. I shuffle back to the table I reside and move books to make room. Sit down. Books out. Journal open. Bar unsheathed. Headphones in and wi-fi connected. Sons of Korah ringing out with Psaltery hymns.

person hand and cup of coffee

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The moment! My soul is already dancing like that little groot gif and my belly’s expectant down to the root – like buddha’s. This is it! I give thanks through increased salivation as I proceed to – like Peter’s sermon – illuminate the mental dank. The sip. BEHOLD! It … it … no … NO … tastes like … shiite! … … …

© Joshua Curtis, 2019


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Published in: on 7 AM-04:00Mon, 13 May 2019 04:53:12 -040053Monday 2016 at 4:53 am  Comments (5)  
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